Author: Verse

The Deep House (2021) 1.5/5

Verse | Posted January 15, 2025 | 1.5/5, Horror, Movie and Series Reviews, Thriller

It is actually very shallow. After watching the flick, a quick search showed that the leads are as follows: someone who primarily identifies as a model and Jagger’s son. She does a serviceable job. He does something else. I really needed to know why he seemed so out of place, and that explains it enough for me.

What is worse, is the wastefulness of the setting. The movie initially holds some promise. How exciting is it to do a haunted house film underwater? That is a great idea! So why then is the whole house experience cliche after cliche! It is absurd because the setting actually works and the film stands a little taller despite what may have been a smaller budget, and yet it inflicts self-wound after self-wound while trying its best to sap out any originality that held promise.

Also, why are the only two characters for the majority of the movie constantly calling out to each other by name? Even underwater, wired directly to one another, they constantly speak to each other in this weird way. You would think that they had just met, not that they were partners.

I’m mostly just frustrated after watching The Deep House. A great idea does not make a film alone, and the execution here just is not it. Not the direction, not the script, and the cast is tied down. The movie is haunted.

Creature Commandos: Season 1 (2024) 4/5

Verse | Posted January 13, 2025 | 4/5, Action, Animation, Movie and Series Reviews

The major plot points do not shock or surprise in Creature Commandos, but the journey is fun nonetheless. If you are familiar with James Gunn’s recent works, then you will know what to expect here. The lovable weirdos prove themselves to be lovable once again through his careful telling.

I think if the show had a bit more time with characters, it could go even a bit further. Some back stories do feel a little rushed and one feels a bit inappropriately placed. However, it speaks to the quality of the show that wishing for mostly more is a complaint. The attention to details in mannerisms from the script to the animation are to be applauded.

There is a lot of stand out work in the voice acting as well. Sean Gunn is a joy as G.I. Robot and once again as Weasel, Shohreh Aghdashloo shows up briefly as a Madam, Alan Tudyk is magnificent as Doctor Phosphorus, really nobody phones it in. I think David Harbour is probably the only character, as Frankenstein, that it was a little tougher for me to not hear the actor instead of the character. I get it though, Gunn wants to cast characters who can also fill in as live action versions of their characters and I would be on board seeing Harbour treated to a muscle suit in a good movie this time.

I hope Gunn can figure out a way to keep the outlandish and the weirdos functional in a mainstream way, because this gave me hope for vibing with comic book movies again.

The Narcissism of Small Differences: The Distractions in Games

Verse | Posted January 11, 2025 | Board Games, Video Games

Twelve years ago I watched Adam Sessler talk about the necessity of throwing away all of his physical game cases. He had a phrase that stuck with me ever since, the “fetishization of minutia.” Sessler spoke of how games emphasizing special editions and unique DLC take away from the cultural conversations around games. Ultimately, he expressed that he felt everyone was being manipulated and missing the experience of just playing our games and not focusing on hypersensitivities.

I’m no saint speaking from a podium of purity. A couple of years ago, I was begrudgingly all in on the predatory Crown Store in The Elder Scrolls Online. I was played and felt awful for having participated in a part of what is an otherwise lovely game. I am not unsympathetic to appreciating the desire or hyper focus on wanting something. I have a shelf of unopened board games that knows this too well.

Verse | Posted January 6, 2025 | Video Games

Authors Note on January 16th, 2025: It appears there is life. The game has gotten a sizable number of fixes applied to it and raft structures have made an appearance. I’m going to leave the rest of the post as is for posterity. I will add that I have softened on the game after this. I do think communicating more updates were coming would have helped.

Original Post:

The original game, The Forest, gave me a ton of positive memories. Steam says I played it just shy of 60 hours, and I can say that I thought it felt like more because I was sucked in for a while. The game exuded horror and the survival elements felt like an ingrained challenge. Last year Realeo got me a copy of Sons of the Forest as a gift, but I wanted to wait until early access was over. Well it is over, sort of.

Sons of the Forest does not feel like the game I was hoping for next. I’m only about 15 hours in so far, but it is extremely apparent that the game is incomplete. With the last small hotfix coming 200 days ago, I do not think the game is going to see any more attention and that is a shame. The bones are still the same game, to a fault. However, balance and lack of growth hold Sons of the Forest back.

From the opening, you are treated to another flight-start but without the emotional investment delivered. Much like the first game, you collect resources and build a base of sorts, but this time you have an AI companion. Kelvin is this adorable fellow who you communicate to via written exchanges that are often ignored. You see, Kelvin has a singular brain cell. I won’t say too much more, but Kelvin is not the only friend you can meet but there are no more brain cells and so it is shared amongst them.

Verse | Posted December 25, 2024 | 2.5/5, Comedy, Movie and Series Reviews, Thriller

Silent Night is a dark holiday drama that throws comedy, apocalyptic tones, and moral themes into a blender. The idea of the movie is interesting, and the cast is here for it, but the inconsistencies in how it is all dealt out—like how some characters get so little development—are what hold the movie back from being any sort of Christmas contender.

Some more commitment to being darkly humored, or to the melodrama it wants to be, would go a long way toward fully appreciating this English countryside slow-caper. The cast is not slouching, as I genuinely wanted to see more from some, but they never quite go far enough.

On the note of dialogue, abundance of expletives do little to fill the rooms here and it doesn’t really convey what I think was intended — a world that is ending, with societal shackles dropped. Especially when the movie flip-flops between the humor of maintaining a clean household and being nonchalant because, well, end of the world.

The staging, the aforementioned English countryside, holds a lot of opportunity but is little more than a place where the movie happens to occur. Silent Night never feels like it takes full advantage of what it has. The initial reveals of the where, who, and what are legitimately interest! This makes it all the more unfortunate that, in the end, the movie feels wasteful. So much promise meets an unfortunate ending that, in the final act, feels forced and sadly unsurprising.

Kraven (2024) 2/5

Verse | Posted December 20, 2024 | 2/5, Action, Movie and Series Reviews, Thriller

I wanted to like Kraven, I really did. Watching Aaron-Taylor Johnson punch windows is an enjoyable way to spend time. The problem is, nothing is gained here. I have no more faith in Sony to make anything solid with the Spider-Man villains than I did before. The writing is atrocious, and the visual spectacle, in a sea of visual spectacles, doesn’t really impress.

That is a large part of the problem with Kraven summed up. Everything feels like it has been done better elsewhere and with better sense. Simply being less egregious than Madame Web is not enough, nor should anyone use that metric. If you put together a capable cast like Kraven did, then you should bring a script and direction that makes something not immediately forgotten after viewing. Russell Crowe is a very capable actor, but he feels wasted here, and everything you think is going to happen is mostly what happens. It is unbearable.

I really wish there was some common sense in the writing most of all. This is Kraven, and him being a bit naughtier would have been a welcome thing. Like when Kraven asks what the magic juice—the source of his power—is, maybe wrap that around the idea that he wants more power, he is… craving it. The visuals also imply a movie that wants to be edgy but then pushes back against itself. Why go for an R rating if it is just to knock off a few goons and then contrast that with PG-13-style displays of Kraven getting tossed around? The blood and violence never feel truly integrated into the world around them, as they appear and vanish instantly. There is a helicopter scene that gets close to cool, but while doing more, it somehow feels a lot less than Captain America: Civil War and its helicopter-wrangling. That is the whole movie though, making you wish you were watching something else.

The villains are just there in Kraven, and the setup for familial conflict—both within the film and for its high-hoped sequel—is exhausting and often feels unearned.

The Minor Keys: Christmas for One

Verse | Posted December 18, 2024 | Holidays, Music

I’m the holiday-type. It feels weird to need to say that, but I have met people who really do not welcome date-specific times of celebration. I enjoy an excuse to be merry and put up bright lights, but this year I am a bit at odds with Christmas. I find myself alone and living in an in-between town, squared center from where I was to where I am going, and that is not conducive to cheer. I’m doing my best though, I made a couple of people happy and that always warms me for a bit, but sometimes I just want to read a book or listen to music with people like me.

This post may come off a little bit Microwave Cooking for One, but there is a season for everything and everyone.

The Right Music

Joni Mitchell’s song, River, opens with a minor key contrast of Jingle Bells. Wouldn’t it be nice to get away from the loneliness of the season and skate down a river?

The Right Socks

Keeping warm during the holidays extends well beyond what you feel in your heart. Ground yourself with some special socks, even a single pair. Sometimes when we feel down, we forget

Verse | Posted December 17, 2024 | 2.5/5, Action, Comedy, Movie and Series Reviews

Shining brightest when leaning into unique ideas on mythology, Red One also does little with what it makes. That being said, Kristofer Hivju’s portrayal of Krampus is kind of awesome beyond the rest of the film. Unfortunately, Christmas magic seems to be missing from Red One. Visual effects, while serviceable, drain a lot of the movies energy with their overly abundant presence. You can feel the green screen imposing upon cheer, lurking. Like the sweet-sapping presentation of a “where it all began” sign, hanging off of a CGI creation of Santa’s original workshop.

Dwayne Johnson is Dwayne Johnson and Chris Evans is Chris Evans with a little bit of Ryan Reynolds in spirit. Both of the leads are likable, but they do not leave such a mark as to feel attached to the movie in any irreproachable union. Watching Evans get rag-doll thrown around in action sequences feels awkward at times, lacking any special powers, and left me wondering if the film forgot he is not playing Captain America.

The movie is not a pure misfire like the poster would leave you to expect and I would never say it is a lump of coal, but it could be a padding gift at the bottom of a stocking. The originality is mishandled, but somehow the film still sneaks in as average. I credit Krampus and his large hands. If you are into action flicks and mindless holiday viewings, then maybe consider Red One. Just be prepared, because the movie runs about half an hour longer than it deserves.