Categories: Movie and Series Reviews, Fantasy

A Minecraft Movie (2025) 2/5

I have probably spent upward of a thousand hours goofing off in Minecraft Java Edition. I accomplish very little, but I always have a good time each time I jump back in since launch. That being said, I know the target audience is probably younger and so I went into watching A Minecraft Movie ready to embrace that it was for a younger audience. Even having done that, I just don’t think the movie is very good. Spoilers ahead.

Visuals

Visually, the movie is charming at times. In the real world, there is an aesthetic to the locations and even more so to the characters. However, I think quite a few scenes in the Overworld are jarring as real people stand on animated terrain. At times, the green screens feel present even when completely unseen. That isn’t to say that there is not some cool imagery here. The Nether looks especially neat and is an area that is mostly kept for just the piglins, and so it works very well.

Characters

Jack Black doesn’t slouch in his efforts as Steve, and fully tries to sell each scene regardless of whether they work or not and that is to be commended. Most of the other characters don’t really get fleshed out. Danielle Brooks is almost insultingly treated, as she plays Dawn, who gets to serve up almost nothing to the story and her character is little more than just a face to react to things. Trailing behind is Emma Myers as Natalie, with some initial development that doesn’t ever go anywhere or circle back meaningfully. Jason Momoa as Garret “Garbage Man” Garrison gets some fun moments and serves as comedic relief and a very mild foil to others’ good intent. He has some legitimately funny personality and that was cool to see when I was assuming he would grate my nerves based off the poster. Henry, played by Sebastian Eugene Hansen, doesn’t change throughout the flick and his growth is not succeeding (through no fault of his own) and then succeeding.

So characters? Very mishandled, with some comedic moments that land. Just don’t expect any sort of growth or depth beyond a 1 block pond.

Story

The movie feels like “behind the scenes”, there was a lot of committee in its making. Without a cohesive vision to make the entire project unified, it feels exactly like a corporate cash grab with interference. A lot of the IP itself is handled well, with nods to Minecraft culture. Some not so much, like the most polite creepers ever. The movie also doesn’t really do a good job of explaining why its characters would ever choose to leave the Overworld for the real world. You have two lonely kids, one in a bad job and the other in a bad school. A woman who seems to be hustling at multiple jobs that are tiring her out. A guy who is stuck in the past and would kill for a chance at some forward measure of success. Also, what happened to the diamonds they went out of their way for him to pocket? Steve also has no real reason to leave, as he seems to love where he is and has not tired of it. The only thing that made me see the sense in their choices was that the world didn’t inspire the level of joy that the game does and that is a shame.

Oh, and the post-credits sequel setup was weirdly done. It is clearly one person acting and another person speaking as Alex.

A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987) 3.5/5

Dream Warriors is not perfect. If I spoke to any diehard fan of the series, I bet they would give me grief for liking this more than the first. Yes the first flick has a darker tone and Fred feels scarier, but it is also wildly inconsistent in quality. As this is my first time running through all of the movies, I have only seen 1, 2, and 3 so far, but I recall the first had some of the very best scenes and also things like oatmeal stairs, prop dummy mom, and a lot of awkward running.

Three is an imperfect movie that is consistently imperfect. It only goes a bit far with the expansion of the origin, but it was not so bad as to feel ruinous like a lot of the second movie was.

Oh and “dream deprivation” is a phrase nobody should ever say. The extra camp though? If we can forgive the silly budget stuff in the first movie then a Jason and the Argonauts style fight at the junkyard is hardly something to fuss about. Plus I like the idea more than what we got in two, it felt as if he wasn’t strong enough to fully materialize but could basically mess with the environment some. Oh and the wizard stuff? It made sense for that character, as they were giving all of the kids some sort of identity and he was a fellow dork.

I am going to be in a small crowd, but I kind of like Dream Warriors the most so far.

Fallen (1998) 2.5/5

Carried largely by an idea and a stellar cast, Fallen is unable to bear the weight of talent. People like to do hypotheticals about movies that could use a remake, and this is a high candidate in my opinion.

Despite its failings, its uniqueness make it still an enjoyable watch and I am a sucker for its vibes. If only it were a little tighter in its writing, rethought its camera tricks, and came across just a bit smarter.

Dear Santa (2024) 1.5/5

I am not sure who will be watching this once it disappears from feeds. It does not commit enough to any direction and turns its premise and in-world rules about wishes into nonsense by the end of the film, and it does so for no payoff.

Jack Black’s costume was cool though.