Categories: Movie and Series Reviews, Movie and Series Rating 2.5/5

Red One (2024) 2.5/5

Shining brightest when leaning into unique ideas on mythology, Red One also does little with what it makes. That being said, Kristofer Hivju’s portrayal of Krampus is kind of awesome beyond the rest of the film. Unfortunately, Christmas magic seems to be missing from Red One. Visual effects, while serviceable, drain a lot of the movies energy with their overly abundant presence. You can feel the green screen imposing upon cheer, lurking. Like the sweet-sapping presentation of a “where it all began” sign, hanging off of a CGI creation of Santa’s original workshop.

Dwayne Johnson is Dwayne Johnson and Chris Evans is Chris Evans with a little bit of Ryan Reynolds in spirit. Both of the leads are likable, but they do not leave such a mark as to feel attached to the movie in any irreproachable union. Watching Evans get rag-doll thrown around in action sequences feels awkward at times, lacking any special powers, and left me wondering if the film forgot he is not playing Captain America.

The movie is not a pure misfire like the poster would leave you to expect and I would never say it is a lump of coal, but it could be a padding gift at the bottom of a stocking. The originality is mishandled, but somehow the film still sneaks in as average. I credit Krampus and his large hands. If you are into action flicks and mindless holiday viewings, then maybe consider Red One. Just be prepared, because the movie runs about half an hour longer than it deserves.

Alien 3 (1992) 2.5/5

It feels as though the movie thinks it is returning to the darker themes of Alien, opposed to Aliens, but I think it comes across more as a washy action flick and does not really evoke the heights of either of its predecessors.

I love Fincher’s movies, but I think fans giving him a pass like he did not have a part in this is a bit too easy. I think a lot of minds came together and made a meh movie, and an especially bad one in the context of what came before.

People get fixated on the opening story decision, but I think it is dismissive to think that is the only problem here.

That all being said, there is some good. Some new characters are interesting and there are a couple of iconic shots in the flick. Sets are attractive and on occasion distinct.

It never reaches any height though, and that just feels bad.

Fallen (1998) 2.5/5

Carried largely by an idea and a stellar cast, Fallen is unable to bear the weight of talent. People like to do hypotheticals about movies that could use a remake, and this is a high candidate in my opinion.

Despite its failings, its uniqueness make it still an enjoyable watch and I am a sucker for its vibes. If only it were a little tighter in its writing, rethought its camera tricks, and came across just a bit smarter.

Alien: Covenant (2017) 2.5/5

The ending, begging you to be surprised but just sucking all of the excitement out of the action packed air because you know what is coming, takes the movie down a lot. The start of the film was great, promising something that blended Prometheus and its philosophical side with a bit more horror. However, it all derails.

Additionally, you never get the sense of fear from daring stunts or horrifying sights that you would expect, like you got from the original Alien. You are seeing awful things and witnessing daring stunts, but the characters aren’t responding as if that is what is going on.

I’m really bothered by Covenant in a similar way to Prometheus, it is so damn uneven in its executions. What ultimately hurts the movie most though is the former, you cannot build suspense for so long on something that is so obvious.

I will say that the aesthetic of the franchise feels more realized here than in Prometheus. Plus, just like in Prometheus, there are a couple of scenes that are cool on their own.

Event Horizon (1997) 2.5/5

I have a soft spot for Event Horizon. Cosmic horror is just rare and kind of fun. I’ve seen the movie quite a few times, but when I watch it I know I am eating garbage. Acting, direction, script, everything is all uneven. Still, the many pieces that take inspiration from other sources have something to them.

Lets stop remaking good movies, lets remake Event Horizon.

Woman of the Hour (2023) 2.5/5

Woman of the Hour tries to tackle a real life story, and in that regard it falls on its face. In trying to tell a specific story, the film makes up characters, completely reinvents others, and ultimately ends up downplaying the serial killers degeneracy and, like so many of these, give him a smoothness that is inaccurate to history. (the real life character Kendrick played never went anywhere with him, noting he was “creepy”)

The other issue is that Anna Kendrick herself comes across very contemporary and feels out of place. Wardrobe, dialogue, and acting choices could have done a lot to make the character more believable to the period.

I get what the goal was with focusing around Kendrick’s character, her relationship with men at large, and the show, but I think the movie would have been better served without her prominence. It all felt a bit heavy handed and like it took up too much space. There is a more gripping story here, and it is the real one.

Blink Twice (2024) 2.5/5

Everything felt like it needed better execution. The first bit on the island also drags on a bit too long, similar to a lot of teen movies where viewing the excess is… in excess. I get that there were little things to hook on to occasionally in these moments that would come full circle but they just weren’t super catching for me. Then the time bomb goes off and it is exactly what you expect to happen. The scariest thing is our main character initially being drawn to the tech billionaire and what that all means.

This all being said, I think some people will like this movie a lot more than I did and I wouldn’t blame them. I can appreciate it, even if I did not connect with it.